the soil of your heart

In Matthew 13, we find Jesus speaking to a crowd in parables.  He says to them, "A sower went out to sow.  And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them.  Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched.  And since they had no root, they withered away.  Other seeds feel among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.  Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.  He who has ears, let him hear."  (Matt 13:1-9)

Maybe you, like me, have heard this story many times.  I have heard it so many times that I could even tell you (in my best Sunday School voice of course) exactly what it means.  However recently, the Lord prepared the soil of my heart and allowed me to see how I have lived this very parable out in my own life.

I've gone to church all my life.  As a kid, I was involved in Sunday School.  As a youth, youth group and missions.  As a college age kid, I worked as a small group leader for some pretty awesome middle school kids.  Even back then, I knew without a doubt that God was real.  I had seen him work in my life and in others.  I had felt his presence at church, youth retreats, camps, missions trips.  But my life, didn't really bear much fruit.  I was basically living from one spiritual high to the next.  Each time that I felt close to God, I promised myself that I would stay close to him but each time as life began to move on, my closeness to him dwindled.  Most of the time I didn't feel like doing much about it, I just waited for the next great experience and the next great high.  My heart was rocky soil.  Jesus explained the parable to his disciples after the crowd was gone.  He told them, "As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away."  (Matt 13:20-21)  That was me!  So happy to be in the Lord's presence, so eager to hear his voice but yet not willing to keep up with my faith when things got tough or if it was gonna mean that I would have to pick up my bible and read for myself.  I was lazy about my faith.  And in the end I was telling God that remaining in him (John 15:9-10) was too much work and couldn't possibly be worth it.

O, how grateful I am!  That the Lord thought that changing my heart, preparing it to be good soil, was worth His effort!  I remember what it was like to live with a rocky soil heart.  I pray that I will never forget it!  So that I will forever have this gratefulness and this eagerness to not only receive God's word but to use it to bear good fruit.  I encourage you to read this parable from your own bible and ask the Lord what the soil of your heart is like.

Ten on Twos- Twin style!

A church friend of ours, Ken Finn, helped us think of whats commonly dubbed as the "terrible twos" as the "terrific twos"  instead.  The time between years two and three has just come to pass for the twins in the Carroll household!  So we wanted to take this time to remember some of the precious joys along the way!

As Silas and Timothy grew this year, they began to show us some of the unique ways that God has wired them.  They are similar in many ways, but God sure did make them different!  We've spent lots of time over the last year out at grocery stores, parks, and other various public places.  As they began to talk more and more, we noticed that they would each ask their own question whenever we encountered some one new throughout our daily routine!  Timothy would see someone he didn't know at the store and he would always ask me, "Who is that mom?"  Silas had a very different question.  He would always ask me, "Mom, what's he doing?"  Thus we discovered a little bit about whats important to each of them.  Our friends, Nancy and Joseph Lehman, helped us dub these characteristics in a really fun way.  We often say that Timothy was made with facial recognition software and Silas was made with diagnostic software.  When Lily joined the family this year it didn't take us long to realize that she had a software of her own as well.  She came with motion detection!

This year a favorite Pops game was developed.  Its really nothing special but the time that our kids get to spend with their father is extremely special to us all!  The game is called "Escapee."  It involves starting at the couch in one room with Pops and running throughout the house with uproarious amounts of giggling and laughter.  Pops will then chase each boy while shouting, "Escapee!  Escapee!"  It usually ends with Pops bring the escapee "back to prison" which is really nothing more than the couch in another room.  One day, the boys got to play escapee while using their blankets from their beds.  They hid in their blankets and dragged them all over the house!  It was even more fun than usual!  When the game was over, Pops instructed the boys to bring their blankets back to their beds.  Timo whimpered and said, "I can't Pops!  Its too heavy for me!"  Apparently that blanket must have gained all kinds of weight in no time!

Timothy also displayed a love for singing and chanting the strangest things!  Shortly after bringing home his new sister from the hospital he came up with a little tune to sing to her when every he was excited to see her.  He would simply shout "Lily-o-ah!  Lily-o-ah!"  and dance all around her!  He also came up with little tunes to sing while taking a bath called "water in the well."  I truly have no idea where he comes up with these things!  He is constantly singing or chanting some kind of nonsense while he plays.  Silas has gotten very used to it.  Sometimes he joins in but for the most part he just lets his brother be himself!

The boys have also adopted favorite songs off our cds from Seeds Family Worship.  Everyone in the family has chosen or been given a specific song.  We sing these songs all day long too.  We always sing them before naps and at bed time.  Even though each of the boys has their own song they love to pick the "Lily Song" (Psalm 62:1-2) and the "Mommy Song" (Jeremiah 33:3) at nap time and night!  The Silas song is Psalm 34:18.  "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  He likes it especially because they shout the word CRUSHED!  The Timothy song is 1 Timothy 4:12 and he chose it because it has his name in it of course!  It reads, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for all believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

Winter 2010/11 was a big snowy winter!  We came up with many favorites for playing in the snow!  We really enjoyed painting the snow and helping out with the shoveling.  For Christmas, the boys each received their very own shovels from Meme.  They especially loved having Pops scoop up some snow in the shovel and having him fling it up high into the air so that it would fall right down on top of them!  It always brought an uproarious amount of giggles and laughter!

This winter also brought the brand new experience of having a little sister!  Lily was born in early December and she quickly became quite popular with the boys!  Silas especially loved to see her first thing in the morning and loved to dance around her shouting "Little Sistery!" repeatedly.  The boys especially enjoyed visiting us while we were still in the hospital after Lily's birth.  There was a special bell that they got to ring to announce that they were now big brothers!  The bell played a lovely little lullaby tune to "make all the babies fall asleep."  The boys were also very excited to shake the doctors hand and thank him for helping their new baby sister come out of Mommy's belly.

Shortly after Lily was born we ended up spending some unexpected time in the hospital with Silas.  Although the memories that we have from that time aren't exactly the warm and fuzzy type, we certainly learned a lot that has shaped our outlook on parenting God's children.  Feel free to read our his and hers perspectives on the whole ordeal.

Nap time in the Carroll household is certainly a happy time of day.  In fact we quickly adopted the term our cousins used for this daily ritual, "Happy Nappies."  One day after waking up from their naps, the boys explained to me in their lovely little two year old voices that they were playing a game in which "We bow each other!"  I was puzzled and a little bit concerned about what this might mean.  Sean began to explain to the boys that we really shouldn't bow to anyone other than God.  As he was doing so, we paused to try to get some more information about what this game was all about.  We asked, "What does it mean to 'bow each other.'"  The boys quickly and delightedly answered us by saying, "You go like this." *SWING ARM WILDLY AT BROTHER* "Bow!"  We still laugh about that one anytime we think of it!

We started memorizing some Bible verses this year.  Sean has put in effort to help the boys memorize by reciting verses with them at dinner.  For a while, the boys had lots of fun practicing by standing up on top of the toy box and saying, "Everybody listen up!" followed by whatever verse they had on their mind at the time.  One day while Uncle John was over, the boys were practicing in their usual fashion and Uncle John didn't miss a beat!  He climbed right up on the toy box and recited a verse of his own!  Way to go, Uncle John!

 There have been so many new experiences and skills to master this year!  From new trampolines to bigger kiddie pools, we have watched the boys take on new things and grow from timidity and fear into the little dare devils they are shaping up to be!  They love jumping and doing mini tricks on the trampoline these days and they also love getting a running start before they dive into their kiddie pool!  Our hope is that this love for life, and determination in new experiences continues for them both!

Photo by "Nana" Betsy Ambrose.  Silas, just after turning 3 at Steamtown in PA.

Photo by "Nana" Betsy Ambrose.  Timothy, just after turning 3 at Steamtown in PA

How do you spell "love"?

There are a lot of theories out there on this one.  Many people would say that you spell love T-I-M-E.  In our current pop culture, many would say you spell love S-E-X.  Others would spell it G-I-F-T-S or S-E-R-V-I-C-E.  These statements are all partially true, in a way.  But they really only describe a certain kind of love.  The bible says that God IS love (1 John 4:8).  God is the definition, source, and very essence of love.

The bible is very clear on what it means for us to love God.  In John 14 we find Jesus talking to his disciples about what it means to really and truly love him.  He says in vs 15"If you love me you will keep (or obey) my commands."  and in vs 21 "whoever has my commandments and keeps (or obeys) them, he it is who loves me." and in vs 23 "If anyone loves me, he will keep (or obey) my commands..."  He continues in John 15:10 "f you keep (or obey) my commandments, you will abide (or remain) in my love..."  Are you starting to get the picture?

In 1 John 5:3 we read "or this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome."  And in 2 John 1:6 "And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it."

Our love for God is spelled O-B-E-Y.  I know what you're thinking..."Great!  What am I supposed to do with all of that.  I'm not very good at obedience."  Well guess what...neither am I.  Lets not forget the second half of the verse we read in 1 John 5.  "...And his commands are not burdensome."  Lets thank the Lord for that!  Obedience doesn't come naturally to any of us.  But when you are really, truly, deeply convinced of how great God's love is for you, you will find yourself desiring to be obedient.  And with the Lord's help you can succeed in obedience.  Lets also remember that his "grace is sufficient for you.  For HIS power is made perfect in weakness."  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Marketplace Day Camp 2011

This year was unlike any other year Marketplace Day Camp has ever seen!  Some of the most familiar faces around camp were missing and some brand new faces stepped into the spot light.  What a blessing it was to watch God continue to work and use day camp for HIS purposes even in the midst of so many changes!  Day camp was very different for me this year too.  My role was the same, camp nurse per usual but my heart and attitude have changed.  God has given me a hunger to share the gospel and see people forever changed by His goodness and His grace.

I did get a chance to share lots of gospel this week, many others did too!  I also saw the gospel rejected again and again.  I felt God teaching me a new lesson.  I remembered reading in Luke 10, "Whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace be to this house!’  And if a son of peace is there, your peace will rest upon him. But if not, it will return to you."  Each time God gave me gospel to share and each time that it was rejected, I remembered this passage.  I felt as if I were the one saying "Peace!"  And I felt as if that peace returned to me each time it was rejected.  God taught me an important lesson about my motivation to share the gospel.  I won't share it just because others are saved, or because its good for me but I will share it because of the glory and honor God receives from His love and grace being talked about any time, any where.  Here's a little story from Marketplace Day Camp 2011...

A young girl came to see the nurse with tears in her eyes on the very first day of camp.  Her hand was on her head and she had this to say to the nurse, "Someone threw a crab apple at me.  I know who it was too."  The nurse offered a sympathetic apology and got this little girl some ice.  The little girl was reluctant to return to her tribe for games.  It was become very clear that her feelings were more deeply wounded than her head.  The nurse asked the girl if she was angry.  The little girl quickly nodded yes.  The nurse than asked if the little girl knew what the bible said about how we should treat people when we are angry with them.  The little girl slowly and reluctantly shook her head to say no.  The nurse went on to share about forgiveness.  She asked the little girl if she would like to forgive the boy who hit her with the crab apple.  The girl said "No."  The nurse then responded like this, "It can be very hard to forgive some one.  Especially if they don't apologize.  But the good news is that God is very good at forgiveness.  He's the best at it actually.  If you ask him to help you forgive the boy who threw the crab apple at you, I know that he will help you!  Would you like to ask Him to help you forgive?"  The little girl shook her head no again.  "Can I ask Him to help you then?"  The little girl nodded her head yes and the nurse prayed.

The little girl, might not have wanted to ask for God's help and she might not have understood what the nurse was teaching her, but I sure learned a lot from it and I am confident that the Lord was glorified!