Prom Season 2011

That's right everyone.  I'm ready to join the ranks of the honorable Joe Dietrich and all others that get shamelessly made fun of for offering a sound warning about the temptations you'll face this prom season.  prom (or Jr/Sr Semi Formal Banquet or whatever else you want to call it) can be a really magical time.  I can say that I was blessed to experience two amazing proms with Sean back in the day.  If you've been to my house, you've probably seen the frame of pictures that we have displayed filled with pictures from our high school days together.  Like these...

Prom 2002

Prom 2003

We have some great memories from those times!  We thank God for the ways that he protected us and for the fun that we were able to have together and with our friends.  Since then we have had to walk with others through dark times related to poor choices they made on prom night.

So let me share some wisdom from scripture with you.

I adjure (or urge) you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.

Song of Solomon 8:4

Solomon is famous for his great wisdom, so listen carefully to what he is saying.  Love is a beautiful thing!  But it is also a very powerful thing.  We should NOT take it lightly.  Love is not to be rushed or forced.  So slow down!  Think things through and PRAY!

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

We all have a deep desire in us to love and especially be loved.  Its part of what draws us to God the author, introducer, and source of love. This desire is a good and necessary thing.  But when we look to fulfill this desire for love in a way that doesn't involve God, that's when we end up with sick hearts.  Allowing God to fill you with His love and waiting for him to fulfill your need for love will give you life.

 A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul,
but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools.

Proverbs 13:19

 

 We are getting ready to take a closer look at fools and foolish living at youth group in the up coming weeks.  The fool can't help but do evil.  Don't be like him.  Wait for the Lord to fulfill your heart's desire.

W O R D S

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good,

and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil,

for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.  Luke 6:45

Words are so powerful.  Isn't it interesting that all God had to do to create the world is speak?  He used words to create everything we see and know.  Think about some of the healing miracles that Jesus performed.  Did you realize that many times, all he did to heal people was speak?  He used words to restore, heal, and build people up.  Words are so powerful and so important.

In Luke, Jesus talks about one reason why our words are so important.  He says that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."  He is saying that our words can tell people what is filling up our hearts.  Often times we think that we are the only ones that truly know what is in our hearts but this verse says otherwise.  We can't help but show whats in our hearts unless of course we stop talking all together!  Duct tape anyone?!

You must remember the good old recess saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but names (words) can never hurt me."  Isn't this statement so untrue?  God's choice to use words to create and Jesus' choice to use words to heal display the overall power that words can have.  Deep down we all know how powerful words are and really its why WE choose to use them in hurtful and negative ways.

So, think about it. What do your words say about what's in your heart?  How are you going to choose to use the power of your words from here on out?

Mom

This is my mom....

With Timothy on New Years 2011

With Silas, Apple Picking on family vacation October 2010

With Lily, the smallest grandbaby she has, for now :) January 2011

Our relationship hasn't come easy.  I haven't always appreciated her.  As a teenager, I was responsible for most of her daily frustration.  I gave her plenty of opportunities to grow in patience, the art of being slow to anger, self control, and much much more.  There was so much I didn't know about my mother then.  Let's say, there were things that I didn't have eyes to see.  We certainly aren't the best of friends now, and we certainly have much to learn about each other but I can honestly say that I am delighted to honor her on this Mother's Day!

My mom had motherhood tough from the beginning.  She was determined to be one of the first to break a cycle of hurtful mother/daughter relationships in her family for generations.  She knew she couldn't do it on her own and leaned heavily upon the Lord to help her as she raised us all.  She knows she's not perfect.  To this day you can hear here saying things like this to us kids: "I'm sure I did damage.  I'll pay for the counseling.  Send me the bill."  She always says that with a smile.

Recently she came to my church to watch my kids and some of their friends while we were busy with a youth event.  There were 5 boys to be watched.  She came with camera in hand ready to capture any fun activity for us all to remember.  Of course, the boys happened to find a little frog in need of rescuing.  She got the whole ordeal on film!  You can check out the on photos FB.  At one point it came time to pick the frog up off the ground with our hands and get it into a dish of water.  We had a crowd of boys but none of them wanted to touch the frog.  It took a short while, she was behind the camera after all, but my mother reached down, scooped up that frog and got it into that dish for the boys to see and enjoy!  She grew up in the heart of the city.  She spent most of her childhood reading books.  She is so not the type that you would expect to do such a thing as touch a frog.  But she did!  She is always surprising me!

Sometimes she stops by on her way home from work.  We always get to talking about life, for lack of a better word.  She has shared so much with me during these talks!  She has given me biblical counsel and deep insights from the struggles in her life.  She has been able to encourage me as a mom, wife, and surprisingly enough as a youth worker too.  I haven't told her yet, I promise to tell her today, but I so cherish these talks!

I've always thought of myself as sort of a pioneer.  I love trying new things.  A challenge is so thrilling to me.  I never realized that, really, I get that from my Mom.  She has faced so much, and covered so much new territory that no one in her family had done before.  College, biblical marriage, the role of a pastor's wife, moving across the country to a farm town are just a few of those things.  I feel so ultimately blessed to have her as my Mom!

She started out as my protector and provider.  She has been my teacher, my disciplinarian, my dress code checker, my guardian and more.  Now I can call her my friend, wise counselor, and guide.  I love you Mom!

Me and my Mom in 1986

El Roi

El Roi is one of the ways the Bible refers to God.  We can read about El Roi in Genesis 16.  Its the story of Hagar, an Egyptian slave to Sarai and Abram, that encounters God as El Roi.  Isn't it interesting the God chooses to reveal this part of His character to her?  An Egyptian (not a chosen one of God), a slave, someone who has been treated wrongfully by someone whom we later find has found such favor with God.  Strange.

Hagar meets God at a well and it is there that He reveals Himself as The God Who Sees.  The omnipresent one.  The one who knows everything, both the good and the bad.  And watches everything, both the good and the bad.  Proverbs 15:3 says:

"The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good."

This can be such a puzzling statement.  If God's eyes are really in every place, if He really does see both the good and the evil that happens in this world daily then why is it that bad things still happen to people by the hand of another?  Why is it that people are abused and mistreated by others?  If God sees it and allows it to happen, how can he really be good?

These are some of the hardest questions to answer.  I've been trying to find answers for these kinds of questions lately.  I've been feeling the pain of some close friends and family members lately who are really and truly suffering.  I knew that I needed to find an answer for them just in case one of them asked the question.

I'm reading a book recommended to me by my dear friend Beckie.  Its called Lord I Want to Know You by Kay Arthur.  Through this book, I'm learning all about the different names of God, how each of these names reveals His character, and how to grow closer to God by knowing who He really is.  It was in this book that I first learned about God as El Roi.  Arthur asks "How can any abused person, any person used for another's perverted pleasure ever be whole?  Whether abuse is sexual, mental, or physical, can there be healing?"  She answers "Yes, healing has to be possible.  Otherwise, a sovereign God of love would surely have intervened." (page 32)

I know plenty of people who are still waiting on some healing.  I know that although I have never been abused in the sense that many of these other people have, at times I'm still waiting on healing too.  It is a comfort to me to remember that as scripture says, God is sovereign.  He has a plan.  He sees everything.  He will intervene or bring healing no matter what suffering lies ahead for my life and for the lives of my friends who know Him. 

"Thus says your Lord, the LORD, your God who pleads the cause of his people:

'Behold, I have taken from your hand the cup of staggering;

the bowl of my wrath you shall drink no more;

and I will put it into the hand of your tormentors'"

Isaiah 51:22-23

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Psalm 147:3

The Easy Button

There are some things that are just tiring. Parenting is often one of those things. Intentional parenting can be even harder. Of course, it is completely worth it! And the bible says it is mandatory in Christian households. I am so thankful that God gives us the strength to endure!

• "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. " Psalm 127:3
• "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
• "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

There are many things that make parenting easier, things that lighten the load. Not all of them are beneficial. Emily and I are praying, searching the scriptures and listening to people wiser than ourselves, trying to see what decisions we can make that will be best for our family and the most honoring to Christ. We desire to seek the approval of our Heavenly Father alone, the God who alone gives us meaning and hope for life, not the approval of men. It is for Him that we live and we desire to please him above all others. We want to sow or plant righteous seeds and produce righteous fruit. How if we are practicing things that don't produce fruit, can we produce righteous fruit. If we truly long for that, we also long for that for our children and will parent with the hopes that our kids will one day love the same gospel we are not ashamed to preach and live.

• "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." II Timothy 3:16,17
• "Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves." Romans 14:22b
• "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life" Galatians 6:7,8

Of course we are far from "good" parents, but by the grace of the Holy Spirit we are trying. Some things we realized recently is how far from the Biblical standard we fall short. We were using things to make parenting seem easier because we were not willing to put in the effort. It is never a good idea to give up, especially when it comes to parenting. Children are such a huge blessing from the Lord! Somethings are easier in the moment, that is 100% guaranteed. However, in the long run, it was devestation. We were teaching our kids lessons we didn't want them to learn. If we want Godly kids, we need to pray and train them according to the scripture and not slack off and let the world tell us how to parent.

• "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. " Galatians 6:9,10

I was challenged by someone I respect recently, to put these thoughts down on paper to solidify my convictions. So let me be clear. I'm NOT writing this to convince any of you to parent they way we do. I am writing this for me (as a father) and for my family. TV is one of the ways we felt we were growing weary in doing good. We used TV as an easy button at times in our parenting. Turns out TV is a hot topic in our church as of late. Most of the things we used to justifiy TV came from worldly wisdom, not things that Scripture taught us.

1. We entertained ourselves with comedy, drama, romance, suspense, etc. from the worlds view, but we know that if we love the world, we will become like it."Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly" II Timothy 2:15,16
2. We used it because we were tired and thought we needed a break, but we know that God says he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. " I Corinthians 10:13
3. We watched it because it was fun and our kids asked us to watch it, but we know not everything fun is beneficial. "Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. " I Corinthians 10:23
4. We looked to it to teach our kids some good morals from classic kid stories but we know that the only true standard comes from the Words of Life-the Bible. "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him" John 14:21
5. We used it to rest and relax, but we know that God gave us one day as a Sabbath, not seven nights a week. "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. " Exodus 20:8-11
6. We watch it because everyone else does too, but we all know that is a horrible practice in life (think of your mom telling you about your friends jumping off that bridge now) and we are accountable to our Lord and Judge alone, not in relation to others. "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy." I Peter 1:14-16
7. What we were watching wasn't really THAT bad, but we know that Jesus gives us the best example, and settling for less is not God's design. "The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men" Isaiah 29:13

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that watching TV is a sin, so we don't preach that and certainly don't want to force others to follow our convictions. What we do believe are the scriptures we just talked about and for that reason, as a family, have decided to stop watching TV. I'm sure there are benefits to watching TV, and it IS something restful to do on the Sabbath. It is sometimes useful in training your children what to look out for in the world. Also there is freedom in Christ to do anything, but after prayer we have decided it is just not for our family. I have heard quotes like these many times "Show me how you spend your time and I will show you what you care about." and "Somehow we are surprised that when our kids spend so much time in Rome, they end up like Romans." We want to care about Jesus and be like Jesus, not the world.

• "As the deer pants for streams of water,so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? "Psalm 42:1,2
• "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. " I John 2:17

Some of our wiser friends have shared with us that when they take something out of their lives they intentionally replace it with something better. So we have instead decided to fill our time with Sermons. If someone invites us to a movie and dinner night, or a movie is playing while we are out, or a movie is being shown at Youth Group will we run away? No. But in our home we have replaced TV time, with Sermon time. So we are still sitting down as a family in front of a screen, but we do so with the intentional mindset of growing in the wisdom of Christ, not the wisdom of the world.

• "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere" James 3:17

Lastly, let's just be clear. No amount of "good" or even "intentional"parenting is going to save our kids. We realize that it is only through the work of the Holy Spirit, not by our "good" parenting that our kids will be saved. So we invite the Holy Spirit to work in and through us as individuals and as parents in hopes that we will bring more honor and glory to Christ by the example we set for our kids.

Here is a recent family photo taken by our dear friend "Uncle Joseph" Lehman at the Daffodil farm!

A Lament

Blessed is the one whom You choose to set apart, O Lord.
The closer You draw him, the further from the world he becomes.
In his isolation from his neighbors, You are that much nearer.

So I will rejoice in this perceived loneliness.
So I will rejoice when they don't seem to understand.
Because being closer to You is better for me than any of this.

Judgement

Did you ever notice that to feel judged you have to make a judgement about some one first?  Let me say that again.  Did you ever notice that to feel judged you have to make a judgement about some one first?  I'll put it another way.  When you feel judged by some one, it isn't usually because they came up to you and said, "Hey, just so you know.  I'm judging you right now."  If anyone reading this has actually had this happen to them please do let me know.  It has got to be an excellent story!  If you are feeling judged by some one, you are making a judgement that that person is actually judging you.  Are you tracking?

It is sort of the like when Jesus talked about the difference between the log and the speck.  In Matthew chapter 7 Jesus says:

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

When all we see or feel is judgement we are missing an opportunity to learn and reflect on ourselves.  Our first question should always be, "How can I learn and grown from this situation."  If we ask that question first, and seek God for our answer, we won't care if others are judging us or not.  Doesn't that sound like such a freeing experience?